I was recently moved to write about the darkest period of my life (I Have Survived). When I wrote that piece, I didn’t think too much about it, My purpose was simply to help those who are in trials and lift them up – to help make life a little easier for them. I didn’t realize the impact on me would be so great – it was far beyond what I could have imagined.
In the quietness of night after I finished the piece, I could not help crying. This continued for several days. I felt kind of numb. It seemed as though everything around me stopped moving – simply stopped and paused. It was as if the earth stopped revolving.
I had thought that I was all right and that I was already over the wounds and pain all these years. I now started to realize the wounds were still there and that I had simply pushed them to the deepest place in my heart to hide them so that I could go on with my life. These wounds had never really healed. Yes, I felt the time for healing was now.
After several days, I went to visit a doctor, a close friend, who had also gone through a very hard time before. She was constantly searching for spiritual growth. When she saw me, she was moved to hug me and pray for me. She prayed that the binding in me be removed. It was the time for me to go up higher in the spirit realm.
Over these years, I have been searching constantly. I know that I picked this difficult path. I could have walked on this path sadly and pessimistically. But no, I decided right there – when all these terrible things were pouring down on me – not to avoid them or escape.
Not only did I not escape, I faced these hardships optimistically throughout these years. Apparently, that was not enough anymore. There is higher ground for me to get to, just as the doctor said in her prayer. She said that it was time because I finally had the courage to dig out the past, cleanse it and heal the wounds. Obviously, being in the realm of optimism is not enough for me now, because I finally have the courage to write about a past experience in order to heal it. Without such painful memories bottled up in me, I am no longer strained, just like a kite can fly up to the sky once its string breaks!
When it started to become clearer to me, I received an email from a friend with the following poem. You will understand what I mean to go beyond the optimistic state once you read this poem by Young Chin-huang (original poem in Chinese).
• There are three states of life: pessimistic, optimistic and philosophical.
• The pessimist views the world from the bottom of the mountain; they see the shadowy footpath;
• The optimist views the world from the middle of the mountain; they see vista;
• The philosopher views the world from the top of the mountain; they see the vast land and clearing skies.
• The pessimist says: Life is like a cup of bitter wine – whether it’s pure or impure.
• The optimist says: Life is like a glass of wine – fragrant sip by sip.
• The philosopher says: Life is like a glass of clear spring water – both are warm and cold, fresh and cool.
• The pessimist sees sadness in flowers wilting;
• The optimistic sees magnificence in flowers blooming;
• The philosopher sees hope in flowers bearing fruit.
• The pessimist sees illness and death in life;
• The optimist sees sweetness and joy in life;
• The philosopher sees the seasons in life.
• The pessimist inclines toward the dark side;
• The optimist looks at bright side;
• The philosopher straddles the world of Yin and Yang. (They grip the dark side but stay on the bright side.)
• The pessimist complains about the direction of the wind;
• The optimist waits for the right direction of the wind;
• The philosopher adjusts the sails to meet any direction of the wind. (They adjust their state of mind for any challenge.)
• The pessimist lives his life with additions – the sadness increases with addition;
• The optimist lives his life with subtraction – distress reduces with subtraction;
• The philosopher lives his life with division and shares the joy. (Division in Chinese also means to remove things such as all obstacles.)
Therefore, I want to proclaim:
Oh, yes, I choose to fly in the sky…
Oh, yes, now I look at the world from the top of the mountain…
Oh, yes, I no longer see illness and death in life…
Oh, yes, I not only see sweetness and joy in life…
Oh, yes, I can even see life’s philosophical seasons…
Oh, yes, I can cross the world of Yin and Yang…
Oh, yes, I am in control…
Oh, yes, I create my reality…
I CHOOSE TO FLY IN THE SKY