The disciple asked his master, “How can I become a person who is happy for himself and brings happiness to others?”
Bodhidharma replied with a smile: There are four states of being; you can experience the joys of each.
First, think of yourself as someone else. This is “no-self.”
You can gradually reduce your attachment to yourself and learn to live with the flow without worrying about trivial personal things.
Second, be as considerate of others as you are to yourself, which leads to compassion.
Put yourself in someone else’s shoes and develop empathy. This is empathy.
Then, to become objective, see others as strangers, which leads to wisdom.
Others have their own thoughts and their own way of life. Respect and understand others, tolerate each other, and seek common ground while resolving differences. This is wisdom.
Finally, accept yourself as you are. This is “at ease.”
Don’t allow others’ opinions of you to control who you are. Accept everything that happens to you, and let your true self come out. You will gain personal freedom, and then you will be at ease.