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When I posted an article at the end of last year (From Bondage to the Miracle of Life), I wrote, “Since the beginning of last September, I have felt I’ve been riding a roller coaster. Things around me started going very fast … out of control. For example, the numbers of subscribers to my English-language blog, www.loveneverending.com, have doubled.” “…All I could think was that there was an unseen force pushing the wheels forward.” I felt and sensed this speed and yet I could not figure out why it was happening.
The above image is from Seattle Life — Stan Nicholl Photography
After I wrote another article, Happy Chinese New Year, I gained more insight. This is the year of the horse. When we think of a horse we automatically associate it with speed, because we can envision the horse running. As the time goes by, not only do I feel the wheels speeding, I also see them. You’re probably wondering how. Actually, I see it in the growing number of subscribers to my blog. From September 2013 to the end of the year, the number grew from 140 to 300. I thought that was quite a lot, because it had taken three and a half years to reach the first 140. But wait, here comes the express. Because the number has now jumped to 1,700. Can you imagine! It is more than 12 times the initial 140 and moreover this incredible growth took place in just the last four months.
What is going on? You tell me, please. I am not only shocked, I’ve started to feel pressured. I am scared because I am not sure I am ready for this speed. As I was thinking about what has happened, I remembered what I wrote in my article – that the horse can run very fast … even jump. If the rider is ready and gathers all the energy, then he can help the horse jump high … to the infinite sky.
Where is all the energy from? How do we gather it? Honestly, I did not focus on it when I wrote the article. Meanwhile, I had a hard time understanding there would be two things dominating the universe this year in the view of one of the authors writing about the year of the horse. One is speed and other is beauty. I have experienced speed, and I can understand it. But I have no idea about “beauty.” So I kept putting this on the back burner and tried not to think about it. Just like Scarlett O’Hara in Gone with the Wind, who would think about it tomorrow. I did the same. Many tomorrows have come and gone. I seemed to forget about it, until …
After hearing the passing of my acting agent (Nancy), I went to the Huntington Library rose garden to seek comfort and peace. The beauty of the roses amazed me, and yet I was most awed there by my sense of the beauty of Nancy’s love. I rushed home to write a poem, Goodbye, my dearest friend Nancy! I quickly finished it in both English and Chinese. I broke my speed record for writing articles. Only then I realized it was the beauty of love that gave me the energy to write the article so quickly.
Last weekend I attended a workshop. As I watched, a team that had ranked last in a racing competition came back and won the championship after 10 trials. I was moved to tears as I saw them trying harder and harder, sweat streaming down their faces, both the youngsters and the older folks among them. Suddenly I realized it was the love they have for themselves and their families that gave them the strength and energy to win the competition. It was so real I could feel their energy fill the room.
At last, I “got” it. I now understand what this unseen force is that pushes the wheel forward. It is love that brings forth energy and then gives rise to speed. In my case, I want to write a book with my insights and my life experiences to motivate and inspire people. It is the love I have for mankind. No wonder there is energy to push up the number of subscriptions. It is also the energy of the love I have for Nancy and vice versa that sped up my writing of the poem. And the same goes for the team that won the competition. I am so thrilled to find the answer that behind speed and beauty is simply “Love.” Indeed, love moves the wheels of life forward, and it creates miracles along the way.