The jokes are from http://www.bluedonut.com/jokes.htm
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer,
“This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks,
“Which do you want, son?”
The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
“What did I tell you?” said the barber.
“That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish.
The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home.
The second guy wishes the same.
The third guy says “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.”
I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks
“Are you reading that?”
I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again. (David Brenner)
A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says,
“This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words.”
The guy replies, “Hey, why not?”
He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly:
Wendy The Talking Dog
Wendy The Talking Dog and her owner Marc Métral blow the judges away on Britain’s Got Talent.
Simon seems to be particularly impressed by a dog that can sing as well as say Meow.