Jokes and video were from my friend’s email.
Completed and Finished
No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between
the two words ‘completed’ and ‘finished’ in a way that’s so easy to understand:
Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETED & FINISHED but there is:
When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE.D…
And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED…..
And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you
are … COMPLETELY FINISHED!!!
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One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man ‘Why are you eating grass?’
‘We don’t have any money for food,’ the poor man replied ‘We have to eat grass.’
‘Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you’, the lawyer said.
‘But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree’.
‘Bring them along,’ the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated,’ You come with us also.’
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, ‘But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!’
“Bring them all, as well,’ the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said,
‘Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.’
The lawyer replied, ‘Glad to do it. You’ll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!’
Lesson: Don’t trust kind lawyers. (Also, don’t send this to your good friend who is also a lawyer)!!
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Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”
The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?”
The engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?” The interviewer replies, “Yeah, but you started it.”
(http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/technology-jokes)
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A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai Hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. She saw God and asked, “Is this it?” God said, “No, you have another 30 to 40 years to live.” Upon her recovery, she decided to stay in the hospital and have collagen shots, cheek implants, a face lift, liposuction, and breast augmentation. She even had someone dye her hair. She figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it. She walked out of Cedars Sinai lobby after the last operation, and was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrived in front of God and said, “I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?” God replied, “Shirley! I’m sorry but I didn’t recognize you!”
(http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/joke-of-the-day)
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Please enjoy this peaceful and inspiring music.
Kitaro ……AQUA
