A German tourist looking for directions in Paris pulled up at a bus stop where 2 Americans were standing.
The German asked,”Entschuldigung sprechen Deustch?”
The 2 Americans stared at him.
The German then asked “Parlez-vouz Francais?”
The Americans continued staring.
So the German tried again and asked, “Parlate Italiano? No response.
The German tried again and asked, “Hablan ustedes Espanol?” Nothing. Frustrated, the German drove off.
The first American said to the other, “Dude, we should learn a foreign language.”
“Why?”, asked the other. “That guy knew 4 and it didn’t do him any good.
A big burly bartender had a contest going. Anyone that could get another drop of juice out of a lemon after he squeezed it would receive $1000. All the stevedores, lumberjacks, oil workers, construction workers every type of strong men tried, but they all failed.
Then, one day a scrawny little man with glasses and a derby hat came in, and asked to try out. Of course all the barflies, etc., laughed their heads off. If those other strong men couldn’t do it, how could this small person possibly do it.
So the bartender got a lemon and squeezed with all his might until no more juice was left and handed it to him. He squeezed and squeezed and, by George, not one, but three drops came out!
The bartender couldn’t believe it! He exclaimed, “How did you do that? What line of work are you in, mister?”
The answer was “Why, I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”
(Squeeze The Lemon by ituenhttp://youtu.be/upEBdKFGlPg)
One Of The Funniest Comedy Sketches Of All Time