So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don’t think we’re far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I’m right here, in your heart.
As I wrote in the previous post, I was shaken up by the first two sentences of the last stanza of the poem
– “When tomorrow starts without me .” When I continued and read the last two sentences of the poem,
I could not help crying. Wow, it sounded so familiar! Yes, I had been told the same thing before. Not
only had I wanted to cry, but also to shout out loud and laugh. I did not – do not – know how to explain
my emotions. This is just too crazy, too absurd. No one could say this unless he went through the same
experience I did. I am moved and grateful. To me, it is another confirmation of God’s words, and it gives
me the strength to keep going.
These two sentences just kept ringing in my ear for a few days. My mind vividly replayed a scene that
took place many years ago. It had a tremendous impact on my life, and I will never forget it. In fact, it
changed the course of my life beyond anything I could have imagined.
After the passing of my beloved husband, I left the field of science and went into the insurance industry.
But this new career did not seem to fit me. I decided to take a break for a year and tried to figure out
what I should do with my life. So in the summer of 1999, I traveled to Houston for a week. Changing my
surroundings, I thought, might be able to quiet my mind and allow me to search within myself. When I
returned home, my neighbors, an elderly couple, told me they had lost their daughter in an automobile
accident. I was so sad, I started to cry with them.
That night at about half past two, I suddenly woke up. I sensed I was not alone in my bedroom, yet felt
very peaceful. I immediately picked up my pen and my journal and started to describe what had just
taken place. Who could imagine that this conversation I had had – with God! – was the key that would
open a new chapter in my life.
“Who are you? Are you the Lord?” I heard myself asking.
“Yes,” came the answer.
“Where are you?” It was dark in the room, and I could not see anything, so I asked again.
“In your heart.”
“Where?” I still did not understand and asked again.
“In your heart.”
“In my heart,” I tried to confirm his answer.
“Whenever you seek me, I am always here.”
OK, I told myself, let it be. Suddenly, I burst out with a question.
“Why did you take my husband?”
Shocked by my own question, I realized I had not let go of my deceased husband after all these years.
“You would not understand now, but I will replace him with Myself.”
Puzzled by His answer, I decided to ask a more practical question.
“Should I buy this new house here in Laguna Niguel? Wouldn’t it be too luxurious for me?” (I knew deep
inside it would be impossible for me since I no longer had my husband to help with the payment.)
“Don’t be so timid, go ahead.” I believed He knew I could use this house for fundraising for a good cause.
“My goodness!” The house was worth more than $800,000. “Even if my husband were alive, we still
wouldn’t be able to do it. How could it be possible now for me alone?” I heard myself mumbling.
“I will prepare you.” He seemed to understand my thoughts and gave me a very firm, positive response.
“OK, I understand. Let’s wait and see,” I told myself doubtfully.
“Why did you take my husband away from me?” (Apparently, I did not want to let this question slide so
easily, so I persisted and asked again.)
“As I said, you will not understand, but my love is boundless …. “
“His love is boundless. He is in my heart. He will take my husband’s place. I am not alone. He is with me.”
It seemed angels were singing these verses repeatedly in my ear. What an assurance! I was not sure
I had gotten everything He said that night. But one thing was certain – that His love filled me. Feeling
relaxed and peaceful, I slowly closed my eyes and fell back to sleep like a baby.
Little did I know, this conversation raised the curtain on my new life’s journey. It changed the course of
my life forever.
