Posts tagged unconditional love

Unconditional Love


My daughter was out with her family on a ski trip, so I was trying to help her out. Whenever she needed something or needed me to do anything, I would just put down everything and do it for her. Then she texted me and said, “You are the best, mom, you give me unconditional love.” As I was sitting there looking at the words, I suddenly burst into tears. I started to question, where is my unconditional love?

Where is it? Because my parents are no longer with me – they passed away many years ago. And I guessed that I did not get unconditional love anymore. For me, unconditional love was from parents to children. It was a one-way street. I understood that, but that was what made me even sadder.

I sat there and started to talk to myself, “Who can help me find this unconditional love? Help me find it and receive it. Please, please, please. I always wanted to give unconditional love, but I hardly receive it. I beg you; please let me have it. Please let me receive it.”Image result for image of unconditional love

I started to immerse myself into this understanding of “unconditional love.” The person who gives this unconditional love must be in a higher position, in the spiritual sense. They must be selfless and able to sacrifice. They must be able to give without any thought of getting back anything.

It is so hard to find people who can give someone unconditional love, to find someone who has the character of divinity to be able to do all of this.

I shook my head, thinking, “Oh well, this is not possible. I don’t think I will ever receive unconditional love anymore.” Exhausted and tired, I started to fall asleep.

While I was sleeping, I heard a voice:
“You do have unconditional love.
The sun shines forth light, and so does the moon. They give light to the world freely, unconditionally.
Look at the Earth; trees grow on it, producing flowers. The fruit trees bear fruit and never ask for anything in return.
Look at the river, the ocean, and the beach. They supply you with water and enjoyment. Do they ever ask for anything in return? They do not.
Look at God: how He sacrificed His son. He did not ask for anything in return.
You don’t need to look at human beings for unconditional love; you need to look at your surroundings, as unconditional love is everywhere.”

Unconditional love is not just limited to interaction between humans. It is unlimited and unrestricted. It is applied to the whole universe.

Now I understand why I am moved to bow my head to the heaven and earth, the to the sun and moon before I pray every time. Indeed we need to be grateful for their supplying what we need unconditionally.

The Next Level (2)


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Recently, I went on a couple of auditions: one for a commercial and one for a short film.

I was excited to hear from my agent that I had gotten called back for both and, after the commercial callback, the producer told my agent to have me make sure I was available to shoot. The problem was that the callback day for the short film happened to fall on a day that I was traveling to San Francisco. I informed my agent that I would not be able to shoot the short film due to scheduling conflicts, and she told me it was okay because it was a low-budget student film and I would not have gotten paid for the shooting.

So I went to San Francisco and was enjoying myself. I got a call from my agent telling me I was still wanted for the short film without having to do a callback audition. They asked me to reconsider, but I still declined because I would not get paid. Half an hour later, my agent called me again. She said the person in charge of the production still wanted to book me. It was then that I could truly see their desire and passion for the project. It deeply moved me, so I agreed to film.

Typically, casting directors will choose two people for a role in case one actor has scheduling conflicts. They place you on avail, meaning you should clear your schedule for shooting. Three or four days later, after waiting for the commercial producer to send me the schedule for wardrobe and shooting, I did not receive their call. I realized they went with the other actress, and I was disappointed… I think the worst part is being picked, but only as the second choice. At the same time, the people from the short film wanted me to go in for rehearsal, so I went in to meet the producer.

The film was a brand-new project. They were young, ambitious and passionate. As I was sitting there practicing the dialogue, I felt a great need to help them out. How I wished they could achieve their dream with a little bit of my help! We all have to start somewhere. Before they conquered Hollywood, all the famous directors made student films.

The actor they paired me with for the audition had also received the role. However, he didn’t show up because the job offered no money. I can’t blame him – I had the same thought originally. But as I was driving home, I kept thinking back to this group of young people and the work we did that day. I felt great about being a part of a team that was pursuing their dream.  Suddenly I got it – it was a type of unconditional love.

This unconditional love is not difficult to reach; it does not only appear between families. You can attain it if you forsake things for your benefit and put others before yourself. That becomes unconditional love because you are only doing it to help others. Forget about money. I was so happy to be involved in this film because it allowed me to be aware… It was a passion-based project that I was grateful to participate in.

Sometimes we get wrapped up in things like money and ego, but there are other things that are far more important. I gained something special that day that I wouldn’t normally have if I didn’t want to help others. I was made aware of what love could do. I was so blessed to be around people who were passionate. I was blessed to be apart of something special. Through giving without thinking about receiving, I got to experience a feeling of joy that was completely unexpected. The insight I received that day helped me to become more aware of the power of unconditional love.  It was beautiful, and yet so simple. Go the extra mile to help others- you will probably help yourself along the way! And this is what the next level is all about.

The Next Level (1)


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Tai Chi is an internal Chinese martial art practiced for both its defense training and its health benefits; it is known for its relatively slow movements.

A while ago, I auditioned for the role of “someone doing Tai Chi,” but I didn’t get it.  As a result, I became interested in learning, and I eventually joined a group where the Tai Chi master, Ms. Li, would teach us during the weekends.  In 3 years we have learned many different styles, getting to the point of mastery.  Recently, she decided to teach us Tai Chi with the use of a fan called “Tai Chi Fan” or “Tai Chi Kung Fu Fan.” We were so excited to be considered to learn this advanced form of Tai Chi, because it means, to some extent, that we are ready to move forward, that we are advancing to a higher level.

Once we started to practice Tai Chi Fan, I constantly thought about the words “higher level.” One day, while meditating, I thought about how I could do the same in my life, on a spiritual level. When I thought about it, I imagined myself levitating from the ground, not physically but spiritually or mentally. As I searched, I heard **the Voice ask, “What is a higher level?” I responded by saying “The higher level as I imagine it would be free from the attachments that hold us back and prevent us from moving forward.”

“How?” the Voice continued to question. “How do you reach that?” I murmured, “It is from the love.” The Voice answered, “Yes, it is very simple. It comes from love. First, you love yourself. That is the first and the basic level. The next, you have to go beyond yourself and love others. Moreover, you put others ahead of yourself.” At that point, the Voice seemed to disappear. I didn’t understand it at that moment. I didn’t think about it much because I was making an herbal juice concoction for my children, who all have high cholesterol. I don’t want them to take medication if they don’t have to, so I make this juice for them by using a recipe that a friend had used, which helped her.


That day, I was tired, but I knew that I only had an hour and a half to prepare the juice before I would see them. As mothers, we will do anything for our kids. So I gathered all the ingredients and went over the tedious procedure consisting hand squeezing lemons, chopping garlic and juicing ginger. I had finally finished, and I gave it to them before the end of the day. As soon as I got ready to bed, I could feel the soreness in my arm, a recurring injury from an old car accident because I had been laboring over the juice.

When I finally laid in bed, the pain was more than I could bear and I started to cry. While I was crying, it dawned on me what the Voice had said about putting others before myself. Yes, it took the unconditional love a mother has for her children to be able to do it. It is simple.  We just need to go an extra mile to give love to others. The pain I experienced helps me to understand how to reach this higher level…  I need to have this unconditional love for not just my children, but for others as well.

Yes, indeed, it is time to ascend to the next level. It will certainly make it easier if we know that we are all part of the universe. Everyone in this world is somehow related. If we regard everyone in need as our children, we can easily enlarge our love and put others ahead of ourselves thereby to bring us to a higher level.

“For I was hungry, and you gave me food, I was thirsty, and you gave me drink, I was a stranger, and you welcomed me.” Matthew 25:35




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On Thanksgiving, 2013, in a blog post entitled, “Can You Imagine,”( I shared with you the story of how the unconditional love a kind doctor helped me to recover from a debilitating car injury. I never would have guessed that I would need to be saved again from the pain caused by that horrible crash. Nevertheless, this March I have once again found my cervical spine compression injury of C5/6 and 6/7 leaving me completely incapacitated and in need of a little unconditional love therapy.

Back in 2013 I pursued nearly every treatment option but surgery to help make the pain go away. I spent time doing acupuncture, massage, and physical therapy rehabilitation. In the end, my acupuncturist was the one who saved me. While I had hoped the pain would never resurface, there I was again, unable to move.

How could it be? Why did I find myself reliving this dreadful nightmare? My nerves screamed in pain with every breath I took. This time, as much as I wish I didn’t have to, the pain was so great that I resorted to taking pain pills.

This pain came to me during a long period of fasting. I was fasting to gain a better understanding of myself and to acquire a more compassionate connection to all that was going on in the world. All of a sudden, it was as if all of the pain that was being experienced by the people of the world began to flow through my veins, manifesting itself as the most horrific physical pain that continues to be with me even now. With this revisiting pain and discomfort came powerful waves of tears. I cried and cried, praying to God for some kind of relief. The only thing that seemed to help was laying in bed, motionless and focusing on complete relaxation.

“Let go, Let God,” I said to myself. And suddenly I realized this is what God wanted me to do: He wanted me to let go. He wanted me to hit the pause button on my life. He wanted me to put everything down, and relax.

Finally, I understand! I have to surrender to God. For three weeks, I fought hard to be still when all he wanted me to do was rest. He had to take away my strength in order for me to surrender. When I had no fight left in me, all I could do was pray. I prayed alone or with three or four friends

Cross in the Colosseum May, 2013

In prayer, I saw…
Jesus hanging on the cross.
He had been beaten, mocked, spitted upon…
He was weak, powerless and silently taking and swallowing all of humanity’s sufferings…

I had seen some of these visions before in my prayers. However, one thing was new. This time I saw Him bleeding to death. This image kept reappearing each time I prayed.

In prayer, my friend saw…
Three chariots carrying with them countless angels from above.
They circled around me.
She saw Jesus place a red and blue badge on my chest.
Then she saw a triangular mountain.
A clear sky was on top of the peak.

With these prayers and visions came indescribable divine, calm and peace. I began to pray for everyone in the world. I prayed that God would give me their pain.


Haleakala National Park, Maui (around 10,000 ft.above sea level) October,2014

This same friend was once again moved into prayer a day before Easter. She knelt down and put her forehead on the floor and begged God to heal me. When I followed her into prayer I saw Jesus was crucified on the cross again.

Two days later, I was given the strength and motivation to go see the kind doctor who helped me heal from the same injury three years ago. From the moment I walked into her office, I knew she could feel my pain. Without hesitation she immediately took me back into one of her treatment rooms with one of her nurses to help.

As she placed the needles into my skin, I suddenly saw the angels that my friend identified in her vision. These angels were not the ones we associate with flying around in the sky with wings. Instead, they were friends and strangers there to help me in my time of need. How blessed am I to have so many angel friends surround me when I needed them most? As they breathed unconditional love into me, I suddenly came to a realization that there was a divine reason as to why I was subjected to so much awful pain.

I don’t believe that the timing of all this was just a coincidence. Indeed, God wanted me to understand the connection between my pain and the pain that Jesus experienced as he hung from the cross. He moved my friend into prayer for my healing the day before Easter. He placed visions of Jesus crucified in my head. He moved me to pray for those suffering in the world and for me to take away their pain.

The red and blue badge that my friend saw God put on me was a promotion, asking me to bring forward the love of Christ. He was asking me to put aside the small “I” and instead represent the bigger, “I,” the “I” of all of humanity. Every ounce of pain I experienced brought me closer to understanding the sacrificial love that He had for the people of the world as he hung on the cross for us.

All of a sudden, I became enlightened. Without going through this horrendous ache, I wouldn’t be able to understand His pain. I wouldn’t be able to feel his helplessness nor His unconditional love for the people. This is how He wants me to move to care for the bigger “I”…Indeed, He does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

Suddenly I burst into tears…
I saw the answer to a mystery that’s been haunting me ever since my husband died of cancer more than 15 years ago. After he had surgery on his neck, he kept bleeding. The wound wouldn’t seem to heal. I did not understand why he kept bleeding to his death. I thought such a fate was the privilege of Christ. Yet, through my own recent pain, I finally was awakened.My husband followed in the footsteps of the Christ. He also shed the blood for others, just like Christ did.

Finally, I understand why I have to experience this pain again. The first pain revealed the unconditional love of a kind doctor. This time God is leading me down a similar path that Jesus walked. Bearing the cross, step by step toward the end of His long journey. I experienced His unbearable pain while He walked the loneliest journey on earth.

He quietly and voluntarily took it all for us.
What price He had to pay.
What unconditional love He displayed for us.

I am so moved now and I can only cry out loud…and say
Thank you for this time of unimaginable suffering.
Thank you for letting me going through this dreadful, yet most worthwhile experience. Through this, I understand what unconditional love truly is. And more importantly, He continues to broaden my perspective…

We do not just live for ourselves.
We, too, should strive to live like He did, with unconditional love for the people of the world.

This image is from[term]=jesus%20carrying%20the%20cross&filters[primary]=images&filters[secondary]=videos&sort=1&o=15

Pictures(1).iesus-1I think the following text from describing the relation of Christ, Lamb and Lion very well. It is a perfect explanation of the image above.

“So when Jesus is referred to as the Lion and the Lamb, we are to see Him as not only the conquering King who will slay the enemies of God at His return, but also as the sacrificial Lamb who took away the reproach of sin from His people so they may share in His ultimate victory.”


Oh, Buster!


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10960106_10153089933803688_3619873110349394924_o-1                                                                Buster-you were the star in our heart.

I got the call this morning at 8:00 am, (1/31/15)
And Jershi told me you passed away.
You waited for Jershi to wake up before your departure.
There was such love and a special bond between you two,
I couldn’t help crying out loud.
It was expected, but it was hard to handle,
I just wanted to weep, and needed to let it out.

We went to see you last night,
The doctor had suggested that your cancer had taken its toll.
It became too much for you,
It was time to let you go.
No matter how hard it was,
Jershi decided to keep you one more day,
So we could go say good-bye to you.


And today he arranged for the specialist to give you an injection,
To stop your pain,
To let you rest in peace.
But you left naturally,
For you knew that none of us would be able to see the needle go into you,
And then watch you stop breathing,
Oh, God what a loving and thoughtful dog you were.

I still remember the day you came,
You were four months old…
You had to travel by plane from your hometown to the strange city of LA.
You took it well,
You adjusted quickly,
For you there was no past, only the present.
You moved forward with trust in Jershi.



Throughout the last ten years,
You gave us not only Love,
Your unconditional love,
You gave us your all,
You were always loyal,
You were always joyous, uplifting
There wasn’t any dull moment around you.

10947458_10153003470505781_7577177466967036830_o                                                                    Celebrating X’mas with Kim & Jershi

We gradually found something different in you:
You were obedient,
You were always calm,
You seemed to know when we were in need of comfort,
You would always stay close to us.
It reminded us that you comforted your old neighbor who had cancer before you came to us,
And you were so young, only a couple of month old.

10968552_10153003470385781_8206816169827487929_n                                                                                Buster (4 month old)

When Jershi found out you had cancer,
He tried all means to save you,
For you were so dear to him,
He could not let you go.
Chemotherapy…after chemotherapy
Months after months…
You never moaned and complained.

I took you to have chemotherapy one time,
You were still joyous,
You weren’t bothered by the painful treatment…
You knew how much Jerrshi wanted to keep you with him,
You just took it in.
It was heartbreaking to feel how fragile you became,
I could only hold you tightly and cry my heart out.

Jershi Lin's photo.

At that moment, I could feel the warmth that you transmitted to me,
It seemed that we were no longer two different species.
The flowing of love was all there was.
It was such a warm and beautiful feeling.
I could not help holding you tighter, close to my heart,
I could not help murmuring in your ear,
“Buster, I love you.”

IMG_4834                                                                              “I love you, Buster!”

At that moment, I realized that you showed me,
Love is not just restricted to among human beings only,
It applies to all beings.
No matter what we are – animals or human beings,
We can all love each other.
Love is above all else in the world,
Love has no boundaries.

We could see the old soul in you,
You came into our lives for a purpose,
You gave Jershi unconditional love,
Not only did you broaden his mind,
But also you helped him grow…
My appreciation for your help to my son Jershi indescribable,
Moreover, you did the same for us…


Oh, you don’t know how much we miss you…
Because you were not an ordinary dog,
You were our teacher.
You were our friend,
You were our family member,
And you continue to be all of these things for us.
We love you no matter where you are…
Thank you, and thank you…
For your presence in our lives over the last ten years.

Family Photo.                Buster, Jershi and Gidget


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