Posts tagged life lessons

The Voice 7: A Miraculous Car(2)




How was I to know that a single car could behold so many miracles? I couldn’t have known, but He sure did. It all started because I needed a new car for work. Working within the home health field, I was required to drive around a lot, which is why the safety and reliability of a new car would be crucial.

In my last post, I shared with you that my brother had provided me with his old car when mine had been stolen. After I had been using his car for a while, my daughter urged me to buy a new one since his was incredibly unreliable.  Eventually I gave into her wishes and ended up buying a new car, one that was very out of character for me, but encouraged by The Voice:  A Mercedes Benz.

My new car lived up to its expectations, to say the very least. I remember one particular morning, I was dreading going into work because of the immense pressure I was receiving from the office manager. As I drove my way down the highway, all of a sudden, as I looked in my rear view mirror, I saw another car brush my bumper. I immediately slammed my foot on the gas pedal to accelerate and get away from the car behind. Without a moment’s hesitation, my car sped me out of the way and into safety. But the other car skid toward the center divider and completely flipped. When I checked from my rear mirror, there was a big gap between my car and all the cars behind. Apparently the drivers of the other cars noticed that something was wrong with this car, so they all kept their distance. That day I couldn’t have been more thankful that my daughter had encouraged me to buy a safer car, as my brother’s wouldn’t have had the power to accelerate in time to avoid collision.

Of course there have been several times when I ,myself, have been careless or forgetful – like the time when I forgot to lock my car. One night, after attending a computer class, I decided to go to the gym for a quick exercise before heading home. I remember telling myself to lock the car since my laptop was in the trunk. Unfortunately, the gym parking lot was notorious for break-ins. I thought I had taken all precautions before going into exercise, but an hour later when I came back to my car, I was shocked to find the door wide open. I had completely forgotten to shut the door! I almost had a heart attack. Quickly, I checked around and fortunately everything, including the laptop,  was still there. As I was reviewing the scene, I couldn’t help but feel that my luck was once again due to the protection that this car provided me with, or better yet, the protection that God provided to me thru this car.

Another reason why I believe this to be a miraculous car is that it personally caused me to grow. Most of my friends have money, and while they would never judge me for having less than them, it seems I’ve been the one to place that judgment on myself. I’ve felt inferior and undeserving of the car. Full of self-doubt, I resorted to lying, telling friends and acquaintances that I just leased the car, that I didn’t actually own it. In the beginning, it did make me quite uncomfortable to have such an ostentatious car because I had always driven more practical cars like Volkswagens, Hondas or Toyotas. This was the first time I had such a luxurious car. Deep in my mind, I didn’t feel that I was wealthy enough to own it, or that I wasn’t good enough to have it. In other words, I didn’t feel worthy of having something so nice. Little by little, as time passed, I gradually got used to the car and felt the ownership become my new reality.

My self-confidence grew exponentially thru ownership of this car. Time after time, while driving my car, I would tell myself out loud: “I own this car. I deserve it. This is my car. I am worthy.”  This vehicle became a tool for me to find the potential in myself and not to belittle myself. Gradually, I found myself change in a way that when people commented on my car, I would just say, “Yes, I love my car.” Thanks to this car, I am now full of confidence, joy, energy and life.

Additionally, I attribute the success of my marketing career to this lovely vehicle. For my job, I have to go into doctor’s offices and convince them that our in-home care company is the best one to refer their patients to. When I first started the job, I didn’t feel worthy of the doctor’s time. I felt like I was bothering them, and that they were ‘above’ me since they were doctors. But once I started driving my new car to work, and once I had convinced myself that I was worthy of driving my new car, that worthiness transferred into other areas of my life as well. I suddenly saw myself worthy of the doctor’s time, and therefore, they began to view me as worthy of their time as well. This manifested in new business in the form of a growing list of new patient referrals.

This car was with me for more than ten years. I was reluctant to let it go, but I had no choice because the mileage eventually grew too high. But why was I so sad? To me, this car was like a family member or a friend. It provided me with shelter and protection when I felt alone or needed to cry. When I was happy, I could share my joy with the car. I could shout and laugh in the car, sing and dance. Maybe most people believe a car is just a cold, unfeeling machine that isn’t alive.  But I believe everything, including this miraculous car, is made up of living energy. Beyond that, the values this car inspired within me are priceless and will be with me for the rest of my life.




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On Thanksgiving, 2013, in a blog post entitled, “Can You Imagine,”( I shared with you the story of how the unconditional love a kind doctor helped me to recover from a debilitating car injury. I never would have guessed that I would need to be saved again from the pain caused by that horrible crash. Nevertheless, this March I have once again found my cervical spine compression injury of C5/6 and 6/7 leaving me completely incapacitated and in need of a little unconditional love therapy.

Back in 2013 I pursued nearly every treatment option but surgery to help make the pain go away. I spent time doing acupuncture, massage, and physical therapy rehabilitation. In the end, my acupuncturist was the one who saved me. While I had hoped the pain would never resurface, there I was again, unable to move.

How could it be? Why did I find myself reliving this dreadful nightmare? My nerves screamed in pain with every breath I took. This time, as much as I wish I didn’t have to, the pain was so great that I resorted to taking pain pills.

This pain came to me during a long period of fasting. I was fasting to gain a better understanding of myself and to acquire a more compassionate connection to all that was going on in the world. All of a sudden, it was as if all of the pain that was being experienced by the people of the world began to flow through my veins, manifesting itself as the most horrific physical pain that continues to be with me even now. With this revisiting pain and discomfort came powerful waves of tears. I cried and cried, praying to God for some kind of relief. The only thing that seemed to help was laying in bed, motionless and focusing on complete relaxation.

“Let go, Let God,” I said to myself. And suddenly I realized this is what God wanted me to do: He wanted me to let go. He wanted me to hit the pause button on my life. He wanted me to put everything down, and relax.

Finally, I understand! I have to surrender to God. For three weeks, I fought hard to be still when all he wanted me to do was rest. He had to take away my strength in order for me to surrender. When I had no fight left in me, all I could do was pray. I prayed alone or with three or four friends

Cross in the Colosseum May, 2013

In prayer, I saw…
Jesus hanging on the cross.
He had been beaten, mocked, spitted upon…
He was weak, powerless and silently taking and swallowing all of humanity’s sufferings…

I had seen some of these visions before in my prayers. However, one thing was new. This time I saw Him bleeding to death. This image kept reappearing each time I prayed.

In prayer, my friend saw…
Three chariots carrying with them countless angels from above.
They circled around me.
She saw Jesus place a red and blue badge on my chest.
Then she saw a triangular mountain.
A clear sky was on top of the peak.

With these prayers and visions came indescribable divine, calm and peace. I began to pray for everyone in the world. I prayed that God would give me their pain.


Haleakala National Park, Maui (around 10,000 ft.above sea level) October,2014

This same friend was once again moved into prayer a day before Easter. She knelt down and put her forehead on the floor and begged God to heal me. When I followed her into prayer I saw Jesus was crucified on the cross again.

Two days later, I was given the strength and motivation to go see the kind doctor who helped me heal from the same injury three years ago. From the moment I walked into her office, I knew she could feel my pain. Without hesitation she immediately took me back into one of her treatment rooms with one of her nurses to help.

As she placed the needles into my skin, I suddenly saw the angels that my friend identified in her vision. These angels were not the ones we associate with flying around in the sky with wings. Instead, they were friends and strangers there to help me in my time of need. How blessed am I to have so many angel friends surround me when I needed them most? As they breathed unconditional love into me, I suddenly came to a realization that there was a divine reason as to why I was subjected to so much awful pain.

I don’t believe that the timing of all this was just a coincidence. Indeed, God wanted me to understand the connection between my pain and the pain that Jesus experienced as he hung from the cross. He moved my friend into prayer for my healing the day before Easter. He placed visions of Jesus crucified in my head. He moved me to pray for those suffering in the world and for me to take away their pain.

The red and blue badge that my friend saw God put on me was a promotion, asking me to bring forward the love of Christ. He was asking me to put aside the small “I” and instead represent the bigger, “I,” the “I” of all of humanity. Every ounce of pain I experienced brought me closer to understanding the sacrificial love that He had for the people of the world as he hung on the cross for us.

All of a sudden, I became enlightened. Without going through this horrendous ache, I wouldn’t be able to understand His pain. I wouldn’t be able to feel his helplessness nor His unconditional love for the people. This is how He wants me to move to care for the bigger “I”…Indeed, He does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

Suddenly I burst into tears…
I saw the answer to a mystery that’s been haunting me ever since my husband died of cancer more than 15 years ago. After he had surgery on his neck, he kept bleeding. The wound wouldn’t seem to heal. I did not understand why he kept bleeding to his death. I thought such a fate was the privilege of Christ. Yet, through my own recent pain, I finally was awakened.My husband followed in the footsteps of the Christ. He also shed the blood for others, just like Christ did.

Finally, I understand why I have to experience this pain again. The first pain revealed the unconditional love of a kind doctor. This time God is leading me down a similar path that Jesus walked. Bearing the cross, step by step toward the end of His long journey. I experienced His unbearable pain while He walked the loneliest journey on earth.

He quietly and voluntarily took it all for us.
What price He had to pay.
What unconditional love He displayed for us.

I am so moved now and I can only cry out loud…and say
Thank you for this time of unimaginable suffering.
Thank you for letting me going through this dreadful, yet most worthwhile experience. Through this, I understand what unconditional love truly is. And more importantly, He continues to broaden my perspective…

We do not just live for ourselves.
We, too, should strive to live like He did, with unconditional love for the people of the world.

This image is from[term]=jesus%20carrying%20the%20cross&filters[primary]=images&filters[secondary]=videos&sort=1&o=15

Pictures(1).iesus-1I think the following text from describing the relation of Christ, Lamb and Lion very well. It is a perfect explanation of the image above.

“So when Jesus is referred to as the Lion and the Lamb, we are to see Him as not only the conquering King who will slay the enemies of God at His return, but also as the sacrificial Lamb who took away the reproach of sin from His people so they may share in His ultimate victory.”


The Last Knit-Lesson of “Letting Go”



I would like to share with you a remarkable short film – “The Last Knit.”
It was produced in Finland in 2005. Even though there is no dialogue in the film, it carries a deep and profound message. I call it the lesson of “letting go.”

The film starts with a woman who appears to be at a comfortable stage in her life.  The woman sits down on a chair and starts to knit a beautiful, colorful scarf. The scarf represents the power, fame and money that she is determined to achieve in life. As time passes, the more she accomplishes, the more ambitious she becomes. It would be easy for her to pick up her scissors to cut the string and stop knitting, but she pushes the scissors away from her. Being blinded by her obsession for achieving more, she continues to knit. By now, the scarf is so long that it has gone over the edge of a cliff. But the woman fails to realize that she herself is in danger of falling off that cliff because she is “attached” to the scarf.

As she races to knit more and more, she ends up running out of material. Still, she is reluctant to let go.  She risks her life by substituting her own hair for the yarn. Unable to stop knitting, she falls off the cliff. She finally realizes that she has to stop and let go so that she can survive. She then saves herself by using her own teeth to cut herself off from the scarf and free herself from this fatal situation.

Once she learns this valuable lesson, she quickly lets go of her knitting sticks and begins to treasure scissors. She understands that by using scissors wisely to cut off and let go of greed, she can have a new and better life.

Indeed, we can stop suffering by learning the lesson of letting go. By letting go, we can free ourselves from bondage and restriction. Our life can then be like a kite that flies high into the sky once it is released.


Divinity at Work (Getting Past Habitual Thought)


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We are often constrained by habitual thought. It happened to me when I started my community liaison job. As a community liaison, I solicit the in home health service for the home bound patients whom doctors authorize nurses’ visits for them. Every day I would follow the schedule that I had planned the night before. In theory, the more doctors I visited, the more success I would have. I listed several doctors in my planner every day – my goal was to visit all of them. Unfortunately, sometimes I did not have an opportunity to see any doctors.

After those incidences, I knew that I had to have a different strategy in order to be successful for marketing. I decided that I would no longer follow the traditional approach to soliciting business. I wanted to get out of this routine and follow my instinct. So I would meditate before I headed out every morning. I  followed whatever thought came to me. The following are examples of what transpired.

I got up quite early one morning for no reason.  The only thought I had was to go to a doctor’s office in Diamond Bar, so off I went. Since I did not know the area well, I gave myself plenty of time to find my way around. But after searching for 30 minutes for the office, I grew frustrated.  I was about to give up, but I gave it one last shot.

Fortunately, I found the doctor’s office that I wanted to visit. The moment I walked in, a doctor came out and asked me whether I was from a home health agency. I answered with a quick “Yes,” and he said, “OK, here is the patient that your agency can take care of.” He then gave me a piece of paper with the patient’s information. I was surprised and excited to get the patient so effortlessly.

My daughter was amazed that I could get a patient from my first visit to the doctor’s office. She said to me, “Mom, you must have God on your side for you to receive a patient like that.”  Little did she know that there were more to come?

I remember when I first became a community liaison; I had no idea what to do. I was biology major in college. I did research, and I rarely needed to talk to anyone.  It seemed impossible to switch from such a job to a community liaison position that requires a lot of talking and communication with others. Yet at the time, since there was nothing open for me in my own field and I was eager to get a job, I did not have a choice except to embark on this new career.

A couple of months later, while I was driving near a busier area of Los Angeles, somehow I felt the urge to stop at a doctor’s office. I was not familiar with the area, and this caused me to feel a bit uneasy. I went to the office and gave the girl in the front my business card and waited to see the doctor.  A gentleman came out after five minutes, and he gestured me to follow him.  I thought he might want to get some snacks next door, so I went after him. But he did not stop and just went straight toward his car. I told myself, “Well, he looks like a doctor. He dresses like a doctor. He comes out of the medical office. I believe he must be a doctor.” Honestly, I did not know what to do except to follow him.

I was still telling myself that it was all right to go with the gentleman in his car, and I started to make conversation by introducing myself and my company. As I was talking, the gentleman stopped his car in front of a hospital then we proceeded to the doctor’s lounge where he ate some food that the hospital had prepared for doctors.  Eventually we ended up in a patient’s room where he examined the patient and conversed with him in Spanish. At the end, he turned to me and told me to greet the patient. I was not sure whether if the patient understood English or not, so I just wished him a speedy recovery.

On the way out of the patient’s room, the doctor asked if I were bored following him as he did his rounds to see patients. I politely told him that it was an eye-opening experience for me and that I appreciated it immensely. He made the final stop at the nurses’ station and wrote notes on a patient’s chart.  He then turned to me and gave me a piece of paper with information about the patient and told me that this case was for me. I was in awe!

Wow, I got my patient without my begging. When the doctor took me from his office to the hospital, he had already planned to give me the case. It seemed strange and did not make any sense as to what he did. But I knew my instinct helped me to get results.

It is quite difficult to solicit business from doctors.  Many of these doctors have been working with home health agencies for years, and are not necessarily open to meeting new marketers.  When I first started, there were times where I would sit in a doctor’s office for a couple of hours. The longest time I’ve waited to see a doctor is four hours – from the time the doctor’s first patient went in until the last one came out.

One day I distinctly remember a receptionist once told me to wait after I gave her my business card. So I sat there … a half hour passed… then an hour… then the second hour passed and the receptionist grabbed the opportunity to ask the doctor to see whether he could see me when he came out to the front. “NO,” was the doctor’s response, loud and clear. Not only did he refuse to see me, but he also said it loud enough for me to hear him.  My eyes started to water because I felt humiliated. Somehow, I swallowed my pride and managed to walk out of the office graciously.  Once I got out, my tears came out like a flood; they were hard to control. Fortunately, I immediately tried to turn the situation around and went to a boutique store in the same shopping mall to reward myself for my courage. I bought myself six lovely blouses and a couple pairs of pants. The owner gave me an additional discount because he saw the tears in my eyes.

Six months later, as I was driving toward the East side of town, a couple of blocks before I got on the highway, I had a hunch that I needed to make a U-turn and go back to visit the doctor’s office I had just passed.  I knew I had to follow my intuition; otherwise, I risked missing out on something good!  As I walked in, the new doctor saw me and invited me to follow him. He was unusually young – about one of my son’s ages. So I just talked to him about the life lessons I had learned, and I gave him advice.  As we were deep in dialogue, I forgot the reason why I was there.  He seemed to be willing to listen to my words and after 10 minutes he asked me whether I came from a home health agency.  I told him yes, and he picked up the paper on the table and told me that this patient needed the service. Amazing, it was as though he had that paper with the patient’s information just for me ready to go!  This happened without my pleading, and all I needed to do was to receive it.

Indeed, one can make the impossible possible if one is willing to get past one’s habitual thinking and follow divinity.

Love Is To Help Him Cry


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Part 2 :

The last paragraph in the text of “What Love means to a 4-8 year old . . …”
*And the final one:
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.  When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
‘Nothing, I just helped him cry’

When I translated ‘Nothing, I just helped him cry’ from above into Chinese for my Chinese blog, I did not think much about it and just wanted to get the message across.  “I just helped him cry.”–the direct translation in Chinese will not bring out the true meaning  ,  “I was there and cried with him” would be a better choice.  While I was pondering , all of sudden, I felt the urge of crying and a very familiar scene started appearing in my mind .  I could not help crying aloud, my tears burst out like broken dam and would not stop.  “Calm down”,  I told myself, may be it is time to recall what had happened in this period of the past so I can cleanse that portion of memory.

Although after so many years have passed, it feels only happened recently and it is still fresh in my mind.

After everything was arranged (refer to I Have Survived -published on July 21), exhaustively I went back to work, but my professor and colleagues wanted me to see psychology practitioners, because the Institute has this facility to help those who need help, so I went.  I saw the Psychiatrist several times in the office, then he changed the appointment to meeting in the restaurant.  I felt rather uncomfortable so I quit going back to be treated by him.  But my colleague persuaded me to see another doctor so I would be able to get out of the grievance sooner.  I took her advice and found a social worker.

She was a thirty four year old woman, I will not forget the impression I got from her, especially the first visit.  This scene is also deeply hidden in my heart and I am forever grateful to her!  Honestly, she did not really do anything, not even say many words besides the greeting. Yet, she gave me the greatest comfort.

After entering her office, she led me to explain to her about what has transpired in my life.  As I was weeping and describing the sorrow of losing my two loved ones all at once…..I thought she was going to give me words of consultation.  Strangely, I did not hear any sound so I looked up and found that she was silently sobbing.  Oh, she was crying with me.  I had a feeling that she could really enter my feelings.  Magically, my heavy load of stress was somewhat lifted, I knew she helped me by sharing my burden.   I left her with a much happier mood , my foot step became lighter and I finally felt the warmth of sunshine that I did not feel since my husband was sick.

To love or comfort a person who is grieving the loss, is rather simple, and you do not need to do the “doing” but  “being “ there and shedding the tears with him or her. The tears of love can served as an amazing healing tool.

I was curious to find out who the judge was that chose this four year old who help an old man to cry as the winner of the most caring child, so I did online search.  Not to my surprise, he was Felice Leonardo “Leo” Buscaglia Ph.D. .

He was known as “Dr. Love”,  and an author and motivational speaker. He gained his fame on the campus of University of Southern California through the course he offered. The course was titled “Love 1A”, which became the basis for his first book, titled simply LOVE.

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