Posts tagged God

The Next Level (1)


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Tai Chi is an internal Chinese martial art practiced for both its defense training and its health benefits; it is known for its relatively slow movements.

A while ago, I auditioned for the role of “someone doing Tai Chi,” but I didn’t get it.  As a result, I became interested in learning, and I eventually joined a group where the Tai Chi master, Ms. Li, would teach us during the weekends.  In 3 years we have learned many different styles, getting to the point of mastery.  Recently, she decided to teach us Tai Chi with the use of a fan called “Tai Chi Fan” or “Tai Chi Kung Fu Fan.” We were so excited to be considered to learn this advanced form of Tai Chi, because it means, to some extent, that we are ready to move forward, that we are advancing to a higher level.

Once we started to practice Tai Chi Fan, I constantly thought about the words “higher level.” One day, while meditating, I thought about how I could do the same in my life, on a spiritual level. When I thought about it, I imagined myself levitating from the ground, not physically but spiritually or mentally. As I searched, I heard **the Voice ask, “What is a higher level?” I responded by saying “The higher level as I imagine it would be free from the attachments that hold us back and prevent us from moving forward.”

“How?” the Voice continued to question. “How do you reach that?” I murmured, “It is from the love.” The Voice answered, “Yes, it is very simple. It comes from love. First, you love yourself. That is the first and the basic level. The next, you have to go beyond yourself and love others. Moreover, you put others ahead of yourself.” At that point, the Voice seemed to disappear. I didn’t understand it at that moment. I didn’t think about it much because I was making an herbal juice concoction for my children, who all have high cholesterol. I don’t want them to take medication if they don’t have to, so I make this juice for them by using a recipe that a friend had used, which helped her.


That day, I was tired, but I knew that I only had an hour and a half to prepare the juice before I would see them. As mothers, we will do anything for our kids. So I gathered all the ingredients and went over the tedious procedure consisting hand squeezing lemons, chopping garlic and juicing ginger. I had finally finished, and I gave it to them before the end of the day. As soon as I got ready to bed, I could feel the soreness in my arm, a recurring injury from an old car accident because I had been laboring over the juice.

When I finally laid in bed, the pain was more than I could bear and I started to cry. While I was crying, it dawned on me what the Voice had said about putting others before myself. Yes, it took the unconditional love a mother has for her children to be able to do it. It is simple.  We just need to go an extra mile to give love to others. The pain I experienced helps me to understand how to reach this higher level…  I need to have this unconditional love for not just my children, but for others as well.

Yes, indeed, it is time to ascend to the next level. It will certainly make it easier if we know that we are all part of the universe. Everyone in this world is somehow related. If we regard everyone in need as our children, we can easily enlarge our love and put others ahead of ourselves thereby to bring us to a higher level.

“For I was hungry, and you gave me food, I was thirsty, and you gave me drink, I was a stranger, and you welcomed me.” Matthew 25:35


The Last Straw (2)


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Continue from The Last Straw (1)

As I finished “The Last Straw (1)” and typed the last sentence (“…tears of blessings that are to come”), I just posted it and closed my computer as though I was closing a chapter in my life. Little did I know that there was still much more to come. It was like a train stopping at a station, and then moving forward toward me to send me the blessings, one after another.

When I say there were many more blessings to come, I am not joking. A few days after writing “The Last Straw,” my agent called me to tell me I had booked an action-drama series. It was still new, but it was getting very popular. I was elated to find myself participating in this tv show because I wasn’t able to act much last year due to time conflicts. With this call at the beginning of the year, I was excited about what the rest of my year would hold for my acting career. It gave me so much hope for the future, and I saw it as a sign that I could do well this year in my acting career.

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When I first went in to shoot the episode, the hairdresser accompanied me to pick up my costume. I had three selections, and he told me, “You look so high-spirited that I’m going to pick this one for you!” But as he started to reach for a brightly-colored costume, the woman in charge of wardrobe exclaimed, “No, no, no! Her wardrobe needs to be darker,” and handed me a brown costume. She also instructed him to tell the makeup department to make me look “dirtier and poorer.” By the time they had finished, I had seemed like an entirely different person. Gone were the bright clothes and high spirits, replaced by a depressing and dirty costume. Understandably, my character was a poor woman. However, it didn’t seem to be enough, and a girl painted my sleeves and blouse dark brown. It looked like I had been rolling in mud.

photo 3-16

At that moment, I began to think about the words of the divinity. I had to know who I was, and what my position was. What was the purpose of writing a book? Who is the reason I am writing a book? “ Make sure you know what race you are running, who are your competitors and who is the reason you are running child,” I recall.

My character was the mother of a young man running an illegal operation. She was not a respectable person, as she had tried to survive by living a life of crime. I had to understand this position and put myself in the situation. Luckily, the director’s instructions to stay on set the whole day, even if we weren’t shooting, actually helped me get into character. I understood the mood of the show, and what the scene required from me. I noticed that the director never failed to start with “Thank you everyone” before the “3…2…1…action” countdown. As I was shooting this episode, I was reminded to be thankful for my environment, grateful for the opportunities, and appreciative for the challenges. This show was not just a chance for my acting career, but a rare opportunity that put me in a situation to make me think about who I am.

Life is like a play. At this time in my life, I play as a writer to fulfill my promise to the divinity, and it is a promise I intend to keep. However, I finally realized I was going about it in all the wrong ways. I was trying to finish it in a rush: it was like I was racing to finish a test and turn it into the teacher as soon as possible. It totally crushed my spirits when I found out that I did not win. It was not the money that came with winning but a book deal. Yes, a book contract to help me to publish next year is the key. I can have the book out by 2017. Then I am free because I fulfill my promise, and I will have freedom to go about my life.

After losing, I realized I was the actual winner, as the divinity put it. By losing, I learned what it means to be a writer. Shooting this TV episode was especially enlightening, giving insight about my position in this world. The Voice asked me who I was writing this book for. All this time I thought I was writing for him. It was for me. All this time, I figured I had written more than enough material for a book. I realized I had omitted many important parts. Healing was only part of it. The missing part was the growth. After healing, then we can continue to grow. I do not write for others, but for myself.

I finally see the blessings that are about to come are the continuous growing of the spirit in my life.


The Last Straw (1)


Miracles Through Love


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(Translated Article for Love of Little Boy for his Uncle, the original text is in Chinese.)

                  The true God is the love of human beings!

Once there was a little boy named Johnny with a dollar in his pocket who went from store to store in search of something specific to spend it on. In all of the stores, the little boy asked the owner, “Do you have God for sale?” Believed to be a young prankster, he was kicked out of almost every store. However, the owner of the 29th store received the little boy very enthusiastically.


This image was taken from LA art show om January 28, 2016.

The owner of the store was about 60 years old with grey hair and a kind face. He smiled at the boy and asked, “What do you want to buy God for?” Before providing an answer the boy tearfully explained that his name was Johnny and that his uncle had raised him after his parents passed away years ago.

He proceeded to explain that a few days ago his uncle, who was a construction worker, suffered a major accident when he fell from a very high construction site. The doctor had told Johnny, “Only God can save him.” Johnny took this quite literally, believing that if he could buy God, then his uncle could recover.

The owner of the store was so moved by Johnny’s story and asked the little boy how much money he had. Johnny replied, “one dollar.” The owner said, “one dollar is just enough to buy God.” He picked up a drink with the label “Kiss of God” and gave it to Johnny. “Take this and your uncle will recover after drinking it.”

Johnny was delighted, clutching the drink close to his chest like a treasured possession. He went back to the hospital and told his uncle, “I bought God so you can recover soon!”

Several days later, a team of doctors and specialists arrived at the hospital and started trying all kinds of treatments to help save his uncle.They adopted the most advanced techniques to treat his uncle’s injuries and, eventually, they were able to save his life.

When his uncle was discharged he almost fainted when he saw the hospital bill. Much to his surprise the hospital told him that an old man had already paid for everything. They revealed that he was also the same man who had hired the team of specialist doctors to save him. They said that the old man was a billionaire who had recently quit his job as a CEO of a large, international company to open a small grocery story.


The uncle was touched. He took Johnny to go thank this old man who had so graciously sold the God drink to Johnny, but the man had already sold his grocery store to travel the world. Later on, the uncle received a letter from the old man that read, “Young man, you are so lucky to have Johnny as your nephew. In order to save you, he took one dollar and went everywhere trying to buy God…Thank God he saved your life. May you always remember that the true God is the love of human beings.

Miracles: The Champion of life

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As I woke up at 4:00am on October 14th, sweating and tearing, I became completely engulfed by fear.

Can I finish my book?
Can I accomplish this task?
Oh, God what am I going to do?

I am frustrated as what is coming!
The book proposal.
Will I finish in time? I have no confidence now.
I feel like giving up.
For I do not know what to do.

Woke up at 4:00am, so I could catch the most creative mind to work on my book.
Why is it that you fill me with fear?
Nothing but fear, worries and frustration?
Where is my faith?
I question, I wonder…

Why do you wake me up in the time that is most close to divinity?
To fill me with negativity,
Instead of positivity…creativity…
You told Annette of Montebello to tell me last Friday,
“You are a champion, run your race.”

But I felt I have no strength.
I have no energy.
Help me to empty myself,
Help me to clean my soul, my heart, my mind and my body,
So I become nothing but empty.

You let the fear, worries, and frustration come to me,
So I can understand the feeling of all that negativity.
They occupy my body and my mind, they even touch my soul.
It goes so deep.
Now You can uproot it all.

So I am able to run this race,
To win the race,
To receive the Medal from You,
To be a real Champion.
Not only in the eyes of human but also in the eyes of our God, our Lord.

It all started with a friend on Facebook when we entered into a discussion about creativity. Knowing that I was writing this book, she shared the most interesting and insightful piece of information with me. She told me that our creativity is most active between the hours of  3-4am when the sun and moon are 60 degrees in relation to one another. This is when we have the strongest connection to divinity.

Sunrise in Honolulu

I appreciated this wonderful information, and when I got to thinking about it, I remembered that the most insightful messages I received from “The Voice” were delivered at around 4:00am when I found myself naturally waking up many years ago. I hadn’t done this in a long time, so I decided I would change my schedule to go to bed at 10:00pm and wake up around 4:00am, all without the aid of an alarm clock. I failed for the first two or three days, but at 4:00am on October 14th, I woke up crying and in a pool of my own sweat. I knew that it was time to get up, so I tried to quiet myself down as I walked into my home office. I took a deep breath and tried to approach my writing with optimism, but instead I felt suffocated by fear, worry and frustration. All of this negativity that I had been suppressing came rushing to the surface to the point where I couldn’t breathe. So, I decided to write a poem to help me sort out why this was happening. Instead of becoming a more creative being, my emotions were only fueled with negative thoughts.

photo 1-13                                                                                                                                  Legg Lake

As I was writing the poem, I knew deep inside that these fears, worries and frustrations were hiding behind a happy and carefree façade. If I could look upbeat to others, then they would accept my constant encouragement of them. But as I kept crying and sweating I realized that I, too, had negative thoughts bubbling deep inside me. I let these feelings go unaddressed for so long, that I had falsely come to believe that they did not exist within me. Yet, at 4:00am that morning, God, the Divine or the Universe – whatever you identify most with – began the excavation process by physically forcing this negativity from my body via my own sweat and tears. In doing so, I was being drained of negativity so that I could be free to receive inspiration, creativity, and enlightenment from above. As I wrote, I felt a sense of relief, a burden lifted from my shoulders. I knew that it was this process of cleansing that would help me to move on.

photo 1-21  photo 2-11

Birds in Legg Lake

After emailing the poem to my editor, I dozed off, unused to this new sleeping schedule. Around 7:30am, one of my friends called out of nowhere, offering to take me to the park with him. On the way there, he stopped by the grocery store to pick up two loaves of bread. Thinking everything happened for a reason, I didn’t ask why he needed two loaves of bread and just went along with it. As we approached the entrance of Legg Lake located in the city of  South El Monte, California, I was overwhelmed to see at least two or three hundred birds.

My friend handed me a loaf of bread. I started to crumble it in my hands, throwing each piece out to the hungry birds. Seeing them living so simply within the present moment caused me to take a deep breath and reflect on the beauty of life. Feeding the birds brought me such peace and enjoyment, and the experience was made even more perfect when I was able to share my bread with a family that had come to witness the interaction between me and the birds. Together, and with my friend, we were able to exchange smiles and laughter in this special place and time.

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Images of a beautiful bird

Even when I was so down and so empty, God had given me a new experience and these birds plentiful food. As frustrating and miserable as my day started off, several tiny miracles had made their way into my life by the end. When I wanted to reach a more serene state, I was forced to cleanse my body and my mind in order to become an empty vessel for purity and spirituality to flow through me.

There is a saying in Chinese that whenever one comes to the end of the road, they only arrive at the beginning of paradise. My friend’s advice had helped me to reach the end of a road that had grown sheltered by grey clouds and self-doubt. Also through her advice, I discovered that my journey is far from over. Instead, I’ve begun to travel a road full of sunshine and the kind of promise that only self-renewal can provide. Who would have thought I would receive such miracles through such simple advice?

Miracles through shifting (2)-A


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In my last posting, I introduced you to the concept of “shifting.” Essentially, a shift involves the decision to make a specific change in one’s life that grants a more positive perspective on life and the clarity required to see miracles.Now I’d like to share my personal story of how a specific shift in my own life altered my course in a way for which I’m ever grateful.

After my husband passed away, I felt I needed to escape the research world, as that is where we had worked together. I dabbled in the the insurance business for a while, but didn’t feel at home there either. After much internal struggle, I finally decided to take  a year off of work so that I could sort things out and figure out what to do next.

One day, during prayer, I heard The Voice say something I’ll never forget: “It is not a job that you are supposed to seek, but you must find out who you are.” I did not know what this message meant at the time, but for a long time after hearing it, I could not find a job.

Despite hearing these words, I persisted until I finally received a job offer as a lab technician at a hospital in Orange County. The pay was minuscule, but I had no choice but to accept the offer. The day before I was supposed to go to work, I received a phone call from the lab informing me that they had found a high school student to fill the position instead. Apparently, they thought I was overqualified and had chosen not to even give me a chance.

A few days later, my daughter referred me to a job in Los Angeles involved with marketing for a home health services agency. Soon after that I was offered a job. And just like that, I packed my things and moved from Orange County to Los Angeles. Perhaps more dramatically was the mental shift that took place within, requiring me to step outside of my comfort zone and enter into a brand new world of public relations. I was scared and not quite sure what to expect, but I knew I had to embrace the opportunity that life was presenting me with.

Right off the bat, this field was totally strange to me. Even stranger was when my daughter, who had been with this same agency for several years, told me that I needed to update my wardrobe. When she had seen my “professional attire,” she sighed and said, “Mom, your clothes are outdated, and they should go to the museum. They won’t work for marketing.” The first thing she did was to take me to the nearest department store to buy all the shoes and dresses I would need. To top it off, she took me to the nail salon and gave me a total makeover. Within a few days, I was an entirely changed person on the exterior.

Next, my daughter took me out and introduced me to all of the doctors who we solicited our company’s home health services to. The route that we drove to get from office to office was rather vast, taking us from the San Gabriel Valley all the way to West Los Angeles. I not only had to shift myself mentally, but I had also changed physically. She added that if I ever felt stressed or unhappy, I shouldn’t go to the doctor’s offices. Apparently their job is already stressful enough that the last thing they need is to see someone else in a stressful state.

To be continued…


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