Love Is To Help Him Cry


Leo Buscaglia
Leo Buscaglia

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Part 2 :

The last paragraph in the text of “What Love means to a 4-8-year-old… …”
*And the final one:
The winner was a four-year-old child whose next-door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.  When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
‘Nothing, I just helped him cry’

When I translated ‘Nothing, I just helped him cry’ from above into Chinese for my Chinese blog, I did not think much about it and just wanted to get the message across.  “I just helped him cry.”–the direct translation in Chinese will not bring out the true meaning, “I was there and cried with him” would be a better choice.  While I was pondering, all of sudden, I felt the urge of crying and a very familiar scene started appearing in my mind.  I could not help crying aloud, my tears burst out like a broken dam and would not stop.  “Calm down”,  I told myself, maybe it is time to recall what had happened in this period of the past so I can cleanse that portion of memory.

Although after so many years have passed, it feels only happened recently and it is still fresh in my mind.

After everything was arranged (refer to I Have Survived -published on July 21), exhaustively I went back to work, but my professor and colleagues wanted me to see psychology practitioners because the Institute has this facility to help those who need help, so I went.  I saw the Psychiatrist several times in the office, then he changed the appointment to meeting in the restaurant.  I felt rather uncomfortable so I quit going back to be treated by him.  But my colleague persuaded me to see another doctor so I would be able to get out of the grievance sooner.  I took her advice and found a social worker.

She was a thirty-four-year-old woman, I will not forget the impression I got from her, especially the first visit.  This scene is also deeply hidden in my heart and I am forever grateful to her!  Honestly, she did not really do anything, not even say many words besides the greeting. Yet, she gave me the greatest comfort.

After entering her office, she led me to explain to her what has transpired in my life.  As I was weeping and describing the sorrow of losing my two loved ones all at once…..I thought she was going to give me words of consultation.  Strangely, I did not hear any sound so I looked up and found that she was silently sobbing.  Oh, she was crying with me.  I had a feeling that she could really enter my feelings.  Magically, my heavy load of stress was somewhat lifted, I knew she helped me by sharing my burden.   I left her with a much happier mood, my footstep became lighter and I finally felt the warmth of sunshine that I did not feel since my husband was sick.

To love or comfort a person who is grieving the loss is rather simple, and you do not need to do the “doing” but  “being “ there and shedding the tears with him or her. The tears of love can serve as an amazing healing tool.

Footnote:
I was curious to find out who the judge was that chose this four-year-old who help an old man to cry as the winner of the most caring child, so I did an online search.  Not to my surprise, he was Felice Leonardo “Leo” Buscaglia Ph.D. .

He was known as “Dr. Love”,  and an author and motivational speaker. He gained his fame on the campus of the University of Southern California through the course he offered. The course was titled “Love 1A”, which became the basis for his first book, titled simply LOVE.

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