Jokes


A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years.
One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child.If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a postcard, and write “Spaghetti” on the back.
He would then arrange for child support. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
“Honey,” she said, “you received a very strange postcard today.”
“Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,” he said.
The wife handed the card over and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written “Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without.” (http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/family-jokes)

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Jokes between husband & wife

Who should make the coffee

A couple is arguing about who should make the coffee in the morning.
The wife says, “I think your should do it because you get up first.”
He counters with, “The kitchen is your domain, and you do all the cooking so you know where everything is. I think you should make the coffee.”
“No way,” she says. “You should do it. The Bible even says so.”
“What the heck are you talking about?”

She grabs the family Bible, thumbs through, and point to the appropriate section:
“Hebrews”
(http://www.ajokeaday.com/ChisteDelDia.asp)

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The following jokes were from my friend’s e-mail.

Who do you let in first?
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door,
who do you let in first?

The Dog of course…at least he’ll shut up after you let him in!

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A couple had three children.
Two of them were bright, smart, and handsome but the third child was dull, ugly, and backward.
One day the hubby got suspicious and asked, Tell me the truth, dear.
Is this third child really mine?

Yes, dear, replied the wife, but the other two are not.

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Wife’s three qualities
When a bachelor marries,
his wife has three qualities she is an economist in the kitchen, an aristocrat in the living room and a devil in bed.

After a few years, sure enough the three qualities remain,but not in the same order she is an aristocrat in the kitchen, a devil in the living room and an economist in bed.

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Wedding anniversary
I asked my wife, Where do you want to go on our anniversary?
She said, Somewhere I have never been!

I told her, How about the kitchen?

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Happiest hour
During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband, Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn’t talk for an hour?

The hubby replied : Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life.

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Hold hands
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

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