I was so excited to book a commercial for the first time in a while. The night before one, I usually try to go to bed early to be able to wake up early and to be at the site at least an hour early. This time, someone called me to talk, and by the time I had finished meeting with them and went home, I realized I had forgotten my key, so I had to get the key from my son. As a result, I had to wait for my son to get back to open the door for me. I still set the alarm and went to bed at an unusually late time.
I was also a part a lot of group chats, and one of them was with my college friends. Since they were in Taiwan, the time difference made it so that they would sometimes send out messages while we in the US were sleeping. I put my phone in the bathroom, so I wouldn’t be awakened by it but I would still be able to hear my alarm the next morning.
But I was so exhausted that I didn’t hear anything, and by the time I woke up, it was already one hour later than the alarm I had set. I quickly rushed out to get onto the road, and only had a half hour to reach the site for my call time. Unexpectedly, the traffic was incredibly bad. It usually took about a half hour to get from my house to that site, but I knew because of the traffic I wouldn’t be able to make it in time. All I could do was call the person in charge and apologize. As I drove, the traffic just got worse and worse, and I didn’t know what to do because I was full of anxiety.
I started to think; “everything happens for a reason.” Maybe this was a time for me to put Lao Tzu’s theory into practice. Without going far, I could still gain knowledge of the Tao. I kept telling myself that there must have been a reason for me not to hear my alarm. I just needed to accept it, no matter how anxious I was. I had to let nature take its course. I started to calm down and figured out that I should take local roads if the freeway traffic was this bad. The local streets still had some traffic, but it was a bit better. Any minutes that I saved at this point would be a big help.
I started to get calls from the camera crew, who were very nice and just wanted to know where I was. All I could do was apologize, and finally, I reached my destination. Someone picked me up from the parking lot, and I tried to cover my face as I entered because I was ashamed that I had made at least 30 people wait for me.
But that wasn’t the end of my embarrassment. I went in to have my makeup done, and the makeup artist began to shout at me because I had red nail polish on and it was not professional. I could not help but feel it was my fault because my delay had shifted her schedule and made her very impatient. Again, I just apologized. This was the first time I had ever made people wait for me in my acting career. I wished there was a hole for me to hide in, but there wasn’t.
Afterwards, I just rushed onto the set to start to film. I didn’t get why this happened at this point or the essence of Lao Tzu’s Tao Te Ching, but there was much to learn. Since I was moved to study his works, I don’t think I can just study his theory, but I have to apply it to my life as well. I am sure I will encounter more experiences like this, but I will be able to use my experience to live this Tao. I am thankful that the crew had the patience for me.
I think I am being trained not to do anything because, in that situation, I really couldn’t do anything. I had to let go and let things happen. What a lesson I learned, because I also led those 30 other people to learn the same lesson as me!
While I was trying to think about the lesson I had on this unusual day, the person who was in charge the release of the actor told me to stay for a print job for another company. Wow, what a surprise! I did not even have to audition. I just sat tight and went with the flow and another opportunity just appeared before me. Who would imagine that I thought my worst day with non-stop apologizing would make a 360 degree turn to become my happiest day. Wow, what a journey of Tao.